> What if the idea of work itself is what you dislike?
It's that for me, and I'd very much like to know how to handle it.
The very same task done 'just because I like to' turns from ecstatic moments of crazy productivity to total misery and physical feelings of sickness when it becomes a job or an obligation. And it's not even on a System2 level. I'd really like to like work. I just can't force my body and subconsciousness to like it.
It keeps dragging me down not only financially but emotionally. It's very destructive to my feeling of self-worth to see how given all the skills I acquired through 13 years of coding I still can't get myself to be productive at work, to get peanuts while during free time I'm mentoring inexperienced programmers who earn 3 times as much as me.
(not that I care that much about the money - but I have people depending on my support and it'd be nice to stop worrying about cashflow for at least a moment)
Maybe traditional work just isn't the answer. Or maybe a task you kind of like doing but can't find the will to finish on your own becomes a really awesome job, and your 'just because I want to' stuff remains a passionate hobby.
Coding gives you a lot of literacy beyond simply writing code to build systems; perhaps those skills could be applied in a slightly different direction, from SRE to teaching to writing a book (personally, writing's one of the things that turns into a chore when it's for money, but you might be different!).
Thanks for the tips! I'm growing to consider different directions; I tend to default to writing code when looking for an income source as it's a thing that I'm proficient at and can do pretty effortlessly.
The other thing I might consider is teaching. I did a few gigs teaching basics of graphics tools to various people and though stressful at times, they went pretty well. I have a knack for explaining things, and I generally like people and talking with them. Tutoring also pays pretty well.
It's that for me, and I'd very much like to know how to handle it.
The very same task done 'just because I like to' turns from ecstatic moments of crazy productivity to total misery and physical feelings of sickness when it becomes a job or an obligation. And it's not even on a System2 level. I'd really like to like work. I just can't force my body and subconsciousness to like it.
It keeps dragging me down not only financially but emotionally. It's very destructive to my feeling of self-worth to see how given all the skills I acquired through 13 years of coding I still can't get myself to be productive at work, to get peanuts while during free time I'm mentoring inexperienced programmers who earn 3 times as much as me.
(not that I care that much about the money - but I have people depending on my support and it'd be nice to stop worrying about cashflow for at least a moment)