> people who block everyone out by default, passively and indiscriminately, contributes to social rust rather than trust
I'll turn this around: when I see people wearing headphones on the train or the bus, I appreciate that they respect everyone around them. Silence is a commons, and the headphone people respect that not everyone wants to hear their TikToks, their phone calls, their hallucinations, or their small talk.
> conducting yourself as though everyone is de-facto untrustworthy is a problem that doesn't seem likely to be solved by passively blocking the world out
Actually it does. Dealing with touts and sales people by ignoring them is usually more effective at getting them to leave you alone. If you engage at all, they manipulate your sense of politeness to draw you into a longer conversation or get you to do what they want. This is also true of most types of grifters and assholes.
Every time I got drawn into a scam or harassment, I could have prevented it by simply not engaging in the first place.
> I don't know why I'd pay to live somewhere where I'd prefer not to interact with anyone. If the place actually does suck, then I should do everything in my power to find somewhere that sucks less.
I live in the SF Bay Area and frequently visit Boston and Japan. In this limited experience, I've had a great time meeting strangers in social situations like at bars. I have never had a positive result from giving a stranger the time of day in public places (outside of giving directions). Maybe these places suck and I should leave, idk, but don't judge me for taking a default deny stance after consistently having negative experiences.
And this is just my male perspective. My female friends have even stronger stances against engaging with random people in public.
There's a subtle difference between what each of us is describing I think. It seems you're arguing that wearing headphones in public isn't generally inherently rude, and you have a selection of anecdotes to support it, and I'd agree that those are plausible and fine.
Incidentally I have no interest in living in SF, Boston, or Japan for various reasons, but it is interesting that I also wouldn't necessarily anticipate they'd be suitable for completely random friendly, welcomed interactions, in transit or wherever. Japan gives me a very siloed, weirdly socially isolated vibe, Boston I haven't been to, and SF just gives me a sort of aggressive individualist capitalism achievement chasing vibe. California cities in general feel like a departure from what I like.
However, I'm not exclusively talking about literally accepting every random encounter in public transit or on the street only. In those places, you do have bars, gyms, third-spaces, cafes, etc.. that are for the most part, "public"; you should be able to connect with people in your community and avoid signalling that you aren't there to participate.
I'd basically agree that wearing headphones out in the world at all is not inherently rude, but wearing them in all of those places, an overwhelming majority of the time, intending to avoid almost any interaction with strangers, is deliberately socially rusty. It almost seems like a strawman I'm arguing against, but it's my impression that's what the ease of AirPods enable, compared to larger less-convenient headphones. You can leave your house with the AirPods in, no wires, take calls without your hands, go to the gym, do your shopping, go to the park, go for a jog, bike ride, and keep the world out end-to-end. It's my view that unless you have a real sensory issue, that's shit for everyone involved at some scale.
Edit: I'd accept that I may not have articulated that so well in prior comments, but thought the overall was implied to mean the degree to which AirPods uniquely enable this
I'll turn this around: when I see people wearing headphones on the train or the bus, I appreciate that they respect everyone around them. Silence is a commons, and the headphone people respect that not everyone wants to hear their TikToks, their phone calls, their hallucinations, or their small talk.
> conducting yourself as though everyone is de-facto untrustworthy is a problem that doesn't seem likely to be solved by passively blocking the world out
Actually it does. Dealing with touts and sales people by ignoring them is usually more effective at getting them to leave you alone. If you engage at all, they manipulate your sense of politeness to draw you into a longer conversation or get you to do what they want. This is also true of most types of grifters and assholes.
Every time I got drawn into a scam or harassment, I could have prevented it by simply not engaging in the first place.
> I don't know why I'd pay to live somewhere where I'd prefer not to interact with anyone. If the place actually does suck, then I should do everything in my power to find somewhere that sucks less.
I live in the SF Bay Area and frequently visit Boston and Japan. In this limited experience, I've had a great time meeting strangers in social situations like at bars. I have never had a positive result from giving a stranger the time of day in public places (outside of giving directions). Maybe these places suck and I should leave, idk, but don't judge me for taking a default deny stance after consistently having negative experiences.
And this is just my male perspective. My female friends have even stronger stances against engaging with random people in public.