I suppose it depends upon your audience. Personally, I become somewhat irritated when people try to guess what I am feeling rather than believing what I am saying. I've also had good luck trusting people to tell me what they want, rather than trying to construct a model of what they are feeling. But then, most of my friends, and all of my customers are technically oriented people.
"Addressing the emotion behind the complaint" doesn't mean guessing what the other person is feeling, so much as showing respect and inviting them to express it. But I agree that the example in the OP was kind of contrived and more along the lines that you're critiquing.
Agreed. I can't wait for the next time I critique some asshole who has read this to respond "I really appreciate your sharing your feelings about my suckiness as a human being...".
