to be left alive, a shell of your former self, know that you used to be capable of, but no longer are. not being able to hold a thought in your head when previously, your were one of the smartest in the room. being so exhausted all the time that just leaving the house is an accomplishment, when previously a day of snowboarding would be a blast. the absolute impotence of it. is life even worth living, knowing your former glory has been robbed by a virus that some people think was a fuss over nothing?

can you imagine what it's like to need other people to do basic life shit for you, because you're now a disabled invalid, incapable of being self sufficient. needing to be waited on, hand and foot. the worst cases aren't too far off from polio needing an iron lung just to breath.

the sweet release of death would be less cruel.