When your boss asks you to take a ticket, when a parent asks their son to clean their room, when a cop asks a citizen to identify themselves, you don't think those situations imply control? When a romantic partner asks you to change the drugs you are taking, don't you think there is some implication that their satisfaction with the relationship is contingent on it? Maybe we are getting too into the semantics here but I think it's pretty overbearing to make such a request and position it as anything more than a suggestion.
When a cop "asks," the citizen doesn't get to tell her to fuck off. The control is implied by the role not by the word "ask."
This dude's girlfriends are free to tell him to fuck off (as one did) so there's no actual control.
There's a difference between "control" and "being on the same page about big deal stuff." I don't think my wife would marry me if I was a heavy drug user for example. That's not her controlling my life, it's her having a standard for herself. If we are not on the same page we just don't get married.
Presumably this dude doesn't want to date/marry someone who takes on heavy health risk when other options are available, especially when the nature of his can impact fertility and children. That's a very reasonable stance for him to take in his own life.
A romantic partner should not, but some people believe that they deserve authority over their romantic partners. It would be nice to believe that all relationships are handled healthily, but this is something a surprisingly large number of people struggle with, partly because it's not something that you can take a formal training course on.
