There are actually drugs that can help with suicidal thoughts:
“Clozapine is used to treat severely ill patients with schizophrenia who have used other medicines that did not work well. It is also used to lower risk of suicidal behavior in patients with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.” Nov 1, 2022
“Clozapine is used to treat severely ill patients with schizophrenia who have used other medicines that did not work well. It is also used to lower risk of suicidal behavior in patients with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder.” Nov 1, 2022
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clozapine?wprov=sfti1
Medicine, therapy - and a group type therapy can help.
Also consider career switching - I believe you can reinvent yourself at any age.