By and large these are results of choices people make, not accidents.
A guy with visible abs didn't just wake up one day and have abs. He put in the work. Same goes for attractive or intelligent.
Taking time to find clothes that fit, discovering a flattering hair style, and generally not being a slob can put an average man into the "attractive" group.
By intelligent, I mean "witty" or a good conversationalist. Wit/conversation are learned skills. Yeah, some people are better at it than others, but you can still learn.
Don't feel trapped on the outside. You can be excellent if you so choose.
I didn't feel right about putting it in my original comment, since it didn't seem relevant and honestly it feels weird to type this out on HN, but I'm attractive. Before Tinder and Bumble I didn't have trouble dating but now it's crazy. It's effortless to get dates with attractive, successful women. Things didn't used to be this imbalanced and I don't think it is completely fair to say to someone with a less attractive face or to someone that isn't over six feet that they should learn how to dress properly and that will sort things out for them. Yes exercise and proper nutrition go a long way, and I tell multiple people a month about the basics of nutrition[0] or about how to exercise[1] but I don't pretend that this will fix everything. I think it is important that lucky people are honest about the current situation.
[0] Way more fibre, no refined sugar, more protein, no transfats.
Adding: 90% of health and fitness is momentum and environment. If you live in a food desert, you're screwed. If you have a history of bad gym experiences, you're screwed. If you have a job that makes gym-time difficult, you're screwed. If your housing costs preclude a gym membership and the necessary quantities of healthy food, you're screwed. If you can't cook or afford healthy takeout, you're screwed. If you have sleep apnea and can't get it treated you're screwed. The list goes on and on. And getting back on the wagon is harder than staying on it.
If you provided a robust right to housing (low waiting lists, high choice) and expanded the armed forces' commissary program to build and stock stores in places where it would be unprofitable or undesirable for a private entity to operate, obesity (or, at least, morbid illness) rates would plummet. (This would also completely reshape our economy, so I understand any reticence to implement.)
1. How to win friends and influence people
2. The Art of Seduction
3. She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
They all seem like terrible/manipulative books, but read them anyways. Glean what fits your ethics.
In terms of online dating: work out, buy nice clothes, get 2-3 good photos. Or don't do online dating and go out to the same (mixed gender) place over and over for a while.
It's all work. It sucks. Good luck.
If the above is too much, beat Dark Souls, then try again.
By and large these are results of choices people make, not accidents.
A guy with visible abs didn't just wake up one day and have abs. He put in the work. Same goes for attractive or intelligent.
Taking time to find clothes that fit, discovering a flattering hair style, and generally not being a slob can put an average man into the "attractive" group.
By intelligent, I mean "witty" or a good conversationalist. Wit/conversation are learned skills. Yeah, some people are better at it than others, but you can still learn.
Don't feel trapped on the outside. You can be excellent if you so choose.