If equal-value employees are happy to work for 30% less in NYC than those in Des Moines, why wouldn't an employer prefer that?
You go ahead and keep holding out for your extra 30-50%. I'm very happy to fill that spot. It's not like they pay Des Moines employees $3/hour. Six figures goes a long way out here on the lake.
You want to live-it up reading /r/Frugal by the lake while leaving literally tens-of-thousands on the table, fine. Selling yourself short takes zero effort. There's always someone in line to undercut.
But don't kid yourself - your ability to be thrifty isn't a virtue in this context. You steal experiences from yourself, your family, and you jeopardize your health and safety by not demanding appropriate compensation for the value you bring.
I don't know you, but you're probably a great engineer. And if they can pay some guy on the coast a fantastic salary, then they can find a way to pay you the same fantastic salary.
No need to be thrifty. I live not too far from the Iowa border in a relatively small MN town. I work remote for a company based in SF and know I make a percentage less than the senior engineers that live out there. If I had to guess, I would guess I make about a junior developers salary. That salary goes a long way here. There are very few senior engineering positions that will match what I'm making, but the culture is not the same. I'm maxing out retirement accounts, 401k's, HSA's, Roth IRA's and I'll have a paid of house by the end of the year.
When I got started with my first rental property, a friend gave me some advice. He said, figure out what the market rate is, then charge $50/month less. There will be high demand for your property. You'll never go a month without a renter and you will have the pick of the litter. Your renters will all be high quality because you can afford to be picky. And it will only "cost you" $50 month. It will save you $1000s because your tenants will value the great situation they have. They won't abuse your property. You won't have to advertise for new tenants. You won't have to litigate an eviction.
There are people who can do what I can do who get paid $250,000/year. There are people who can do what I can do who can't find a job because they are holding out for $250,000/year. I'm ok making $50/month less and getting the pick of the litter.
You go ahead and keep holding out for your extra 30-50%. I'm very happy to fill that spot. It's not like they pay Des Moines employees $3/hour. Six figures goes a long way out here on the lake.