Yes, I did not mean to say that the two are necessarily exclusive. You can be confident about things you know exceptionally well, or about things from your past (accomplishments). But if you show humility for other things, and start using qualifiers like "most likely", "I suspect", "generally", the majority of folks are likely to pick the guy who doesn't use them.
>Especially in an interview or promotion situation, I'm proud of and speak to my accomplishments and the skills and knowledge I've been able to obtain, but I can also speak with real honesty about the mistakes I've made, tend to make, and my own shortcomings. I talk about both without hesitation.
These are things for which there is no uncertainty: You know your accomplishments, and you know your failures. And it is in a very confined scenario (interview/promotion). What I've found is that demonstrating uncertainty in day-to-day matters can greatly impact whether you'll be considered at all for a promotion/job. My first manager always wanted certainty. If you said "I'll see what I can do" or "I'll do my best", that was perceived negatively. And it would be more negative if a conversation followed where you outlined the reasons for lack of certainty (various risks, dependencies, etc). If you said "I'll get it done", he'd be happy. Over time I noticed it was irrelevant whether you actually get it done. If you said "I'll get it done", and failed, and explained why you failed, things were good. If you said "I'll do my best" and failed, and explained why you failed, his belief was "He didn't try hard enough".
Granted, not all managers are like this (thankfully!). But I've found most people in the general public are like him. Both online and in my personal life, when I've expressed any doubts/risks in an endeavor I'm pursuing, I've been told that I'm setting myself up for failure. And when it comes to non-solo pursuits, they're usually right, but not for the reasons they believe. The key was this:
People who express doubt are less likely to receive help from others.
People who express unrealistic confidence are much more likely to get help from others.
So once again: Hide the humility and fake confidence on the outside.
>Especially in an interview or promotion situation, I'm proud of and speak to my accomplishments and the skills and knowledge I've been able to obtain, but I can also speak with real honesty about the mistakes I've made, tend to make, and my own shortcomings. I talk about both without hesitation.
These are things for which there is no uncertainty: You know your accomplishments, and you know your failures. And it is in a very confined scenario (interview/promotion). What I've found is that demonstrating uncertainty in day-to-day matters can greatly impact whether you'll be considered at all for a promotion/job. My first manager always wanted certainty. If you said "I'll see what I can do" or "I'll do my best", that was perceived negatively. And it would be more negative if a conversation followed where you outlined the reasons for lack of certainty (various risks, dependencies, etc). If you said "I'll get it done", he'd be happy. Over time I noticed it was irrelevant whether you actually get it done. If you said "I'll get it done", and failed, and explained why you failed, things were good. If you said "I'll do my best" and failed, and explained why you failed, his belief was "He didn't try hard enough".
Granted, not all managers are like this (thankfully!). But I've found most people in the general public are like him. Both online and in my personal life, when I've expressed any doubts/risks in an endeavor I'm pursuing, I've been told that I'm setting myself up for failure. And when it comes to non-solo pursuits, they're usually right, but not for the reasons they believe. The key was this:
People who express doubt are less likely to receive help from others.
People who express unrealistic confidence are much more likely to get help from others.
So once again: Hide the humility and fake confidence on the outside.