> 6) If someone doesn't understand my idea, it's probably because they aren't smart enough to get it. (reverse)
One of my high school teachers said something like: if someone doesn't understand your explanation, then you don't know it as well as you think you do.
It's also quite possible they lack the domain knowledge to receive a succinct explanation of the problem and evaluate if a solution actually solves it.
That is possible, but it is unwise to bet that way.
Why?
First, because far more things can be explained to an intelligent lay person than most of us realize, and figuring out how to do so improves our own understanding. Therefore it is worthwhile to make the attempt.
Second, because it is far too easy to fool ourselves into thinking that we're making a succinct explanation that requires domain knowledge when actually we're spouting just enough jargon to remind those who agree with us of shared and possibly unexamined dogma. There is a real cost to mental habits that make such mental mistakes easier to make and sustain.
So yes. The other person may be too ignorant/stupid/whatever to understand you. But the alternative explanations should be disproven before you conclude that.
It is even more true in the real world when the discussions are between people with different knowledge. Do people recognize someone from another background as a peer or not?
if someone doesn't understand your explanation, it might be that you don't understand the person well enough or you don't know the correct way to explain to that person in a plain language
I always respond in layers. The first layer is to say I work in computers. If they want to know more, they'll ask. If there is a follow up question that doesn't make it clear they're tech savvy, I'll explain one level deeper. I work on the website for x company, or I help secure your credit card info at such and such back. It doesn't matter if you're front end, back end, dba, network, sysadmin, help desk, etc. Just something that a regular human might recognize as being a thing. Most people don't know what those job titles mean, but they know people must do something to make websites work and secure credit cards. And so on and so forth until it's satisfied their curiosity.
The key thing is knowing that their level of curiosity may not be what you prefer. I've come to terms that people often don't actually care about understanding what I do and would rather just make assumptions about it. If you can't accept that and let it be, you can become a very despondent person. :) And then when you try to correct their misunderstanding, you just make them unhappy too. Everyone loses.
Yep, if they're not actually interested, which is usually the case, you're either going to bore them or insult them because it will come off as bragging.
One of my high school teachers said something like: if someone doesn't understand your explanation, then you don't know it as well as you think you do.