I don't have a cite for my claim that out of state purchases uses less state services, but I do believe it is pretty obvious. My reasoning:
An in-state retailer uses police/fire protection for the entire time the item is sitting on the shelf, local roads to move the item to the store, police/fire protection at the production site if the item was made in-state, and assorted local regulatory services depending on the specific business (e.g., health inspectors).
An out of state retailer only uses local roads as the item is shipped to the customer.
I don't see any plausible way that an out of state retailer could use anything remotely close to the same amount of state services as an in state retailer.
Your analysis ignores the fact that in-state retailers pay property taxes, income taxes, user fees, and employ people within the state who in turn pay taxes.
If you convert the traditional cost-benefit analysis into a cost analysis, then you can prove that literally anything is a bad idea. But that's not a serious way to argue a point.
An in-state retailer uses police/fire protection for the entire time the item is sitting on the shelf, local roads to move the item to the store, police/fire protection at the production site if the item was made in-state, and assorted local regulatory services depending on the specific business (e.g., health inspectors).
An out of state retailer only uses local roads as the item is shipped to the customer.
I don't see any plausible way that an out of state retailer could use anything remotely close to the same amount of state services as an in state retailer.